How to Pass a Drug Test: What No One Else Will Tell You

Google “How to pass a drug test” and all your going to find is people telling you to abstain, to detox, to do this that and the other. Before you continue to read, this is just how to pass a urine drug test. So if it’s blood or hair your worried about, well look some where else but if your worried about a urine test read on…

The first thing to worry about when it comes to urine test is who is administering the test?

If this test is a pre-employment screen do I have the solution for you! But before we get there, if your on probation or parole or are applying for a law enforcement or military position sorry to break it to you like this but your only real chance of passing is to get actually clean. These types of urine test are supervised so unless you have some skills I do not possess like a big penis to hide a tube under…I don’t know??  Between you and me, I seriously think there is something wrong with all probation officers spending their lives watching people pee, not to mention the charge for something like that has to be crazy! Also law and military can detect any and all 24 hour detox solutions. So I wouldn’t try it, when you play with fire you get burnt.

Now if your just trying to pass a regular unsupervised urine drug test I have 3 solutions for you:

  1. The Detox: How I recommend doing this is exactly how I state it. Don’t change a thing or it won’t work. Time is very important because the detox is only a temporary fix. You drink the entire bottle within 15 min. Do not throw up! If you throw up swallow it, seriously. Then drink water. As an extra precaution buy some home drug test. This detox is going to make you feel like a Kentucky racehorse on it’s 5th lap, meaning your going to want to pee a lot ! And the detox tastes so nasty that’s why I emphasize on do not throw up. For me by the 3rd time I pee I’m clean.  I know this because I self test at home. Then I feel like peeing but I hold it until I take the actual test fully confident that I will in fact pass with flying colors because I have over 10 times. Even for a hospital position. I tested myself after I’ve taken the actual lab test at home and I was still clean 5 hours after but I recommend drinking your detox 2 hours before and testing at the lab within 3 hours. The brand I use is called Clear Choice which you can order online but if you don’t have time to wait for shipping just go to your local head shop and I’m sure whatever they have will work. These detoxes vary on consumption amount. I consume over 2-3 grams daily and it works perfect just abstain and eat salad, drink water and be healthy instead of a burger or fried foods the day before. Don’t want to abstain at all? No problem!
  2. Urine Sub: Have any kids or a friend that your 100% certain has clean piss? Then this is the cheapest route to go. Grandma’s pee usually doesn’t work because grandma takes prescription medication. (which if you come up positive for without a prescription guarantees you will not get the job) A friend or child will work however but there’s a few tricks to this. Sex matters if your not female. Meaning a woman can use a mans urine and a man can use a females urine pending that the female is not pregnant. I’m serious about this, pregnancy will mess up your passing if your a man. Now what you need is at least 3 ounces of this clean urine. If you get it the day before refrigerate it. In fact refrigerate it if your are holding it for more than 5 hours. Urine tends to break down in time and refrigeration stops this. Next you need something you can hold this urine in and conceal it on your body for the actual test. I like glass blood vials but I do have access to these regularly. It really doesn’t matter what you use as long as you can hide it on you. When your ready to go to the test heat up the urine, it needs to be between 98-100 degrees. I use hand warmers to maintain the temp for the ride from my house to the lab and I stash my urine in between my thigh and genital area. Temperature strips are very handy too because if it’s too hot or too cold the lab will reject your sample. Same thing with amount you must have at least 3 ounces, I know this from experience. One time I didn’t have enough and I had to come up with an excuse to come back at a later date. Which I did successfully and passed. These test are not supervised so they will tell you not to flush or turn on the water to wash your hands so don’t. Go into the bathroom pour your sample in their cup give it to the lab tech and congratulate yourself you just passed, pending of coarse on that the person you got your urine from was in fact clean. Don’t have any friends or kids like that? No problem!
  3. Synthetic urine is for you! This just like the urine sub but you don’t have to refrigerate, you don’t have to worry if it’s actually clean pee, and usually it comes with a heating system included. But it cost a lot more than the awkward conversation you need to have with your kid as to why they need to pee in this cup for you. The brand I use is Quick Fix. They guarantee double your money if it doesn’t work, and that’s because it works every time! This one your going to have to order online depending on which state you live in because here, where I live, no head shop sells it. But maybe you live in a more liberal state in which case you might be lucky enough to find it sold in stores. Like the urine sub you heat it up and in the lab bathroom you pour it into the cup with no worries. There is a temperature strip included to make sure proper temp. and it contains all the ingredients real urine has.

All the above I have actually used and have always worked. The main trick is to remain calm. Don’t act too nervous to avoid arousing suspicion of any sort. Trust me all these tricks work as long as you execute them correctly. Temp. is the only way sub-ing isn’t going to work and as for the detox you must pee out all your dirty pee first and you must test before the time frame expires. That’s it, be confident your going to be fine. I promise.

One that I’d like to try but cannot tell you either way of the success rate is Urine Luck. If any of my lovely readers out there know about this product please let me know! How it works I understand is you pee in the cup and then pour the urine luck on top of your sample and it somehow breakdown all the THC. Which sounds interesting.

Well, good luck and as always stay lit!

Blunt +CBD

The cleanest and safest blunt on the market with no toxic additives or tobacco and it just happens to test positive for CBD! I explain it to my friends as a blunt made out of weed, just to geek them up, but then I explain further that it’s a hemp wrap that naturally contains CBD. And the number one question that I get is what’s CBD….

So: “There’s a lot more to Weed than just Smoking it” 

Cannabiniol (CBD) is the second highest compound to make up cannabis plants, at roughly 40%.  While CBD is similar to THC, it’s composition lacks any psychoactive effects typically associated with THC and is purely medicinal. CBD stands out because it is both non-psychoactive and displays a broad range of potential medical applications. These properties make it especially attractive as a therapeutic agent. CBD can actually cure cancer! For more on CBD I recommend reading this article on : Leafly  where you can find several different therapeutic benefits to CBD.

But I’m not here to talk about CBD, the subject here is definitely Hemp Wraps. Blunt wraps that contain CBD. Yep, but don’t get too excited. During the process of smoking you are exposing yourself to carbon monoxide, which is known to increase your chances of cancer. However if your going to smoke a blunt Juicy Jays or High Hemp Wraps are your best choice because they have eliminated the increased risks of cancer from inhalation of excess chemicals commonly found in tobacco based blunts. And they are so smooth.

Their method of farming hemp is organic from the seed up. And they pride themselves in not using any formulated fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics, or pesticides. Please keep in mind that these hemp wraps are NOT infused with CBD. They are naturally occurring. Below you can see the tested composition a single Hemp wrap:

It rolls like a blunt, looks like a blunt and burns like a blunt. And though neither regulated or tested under the FDA these blunts just taste better and there’s got to be a reason for that!  Definitely you should try out hemp wraps.

 

Stay Lit!

I Got My Dogs High and They Liked It

Yes you read that right! I got my dogs high and they liked it! Turns out humans are not the only mammals with cannabinoid receptors, in fact most mammals do and you can definitely get your dogs high. However safety is of utmost importance.


The amount of cannabis given to your doggie is very important. There have actually been reports of dogs dying :

They have to ingest a pretty large amount of weed to actually die, Downing said, but it doesn’t necessarily take a lot to have an adverse effect.

But in the same breath, Cannabis can be especially helpful for older dogs suffering from hip dysplasia and glaucoma, common issues with a majority of older pets. It also helps to alleviate pain, stimulate appetite, and lead to a better quality of life. Cannabis-infused tincture is one of the best forms to cannabis to give to your pet.

I fact ,

The late Dr. Doug Kramer, known as the “Vet Guru” risked his career by promoting medical marijuana for dogs. He developed a homemade tincture for his very own dog that suffered from cancer. He realized the benefits she had from using marijuana which made her last few months much more comfortable. He started Enlightened Veterinary Therapeutics, the country’s first vet to offer medical marijuana for dogs and other pets.

Another great and safe option (also what I did) are these homemade cannabis infused dog treats! I made them for my dogs:

The the effects looked like this:

Followed by some napping,  silly dog smiles and munchies, they were so licking their chops for more! Plus, the pumpkin helps to alleviate any stomach issues, and promotes healthy digestions. Plus, it’s a great way to use any leftover jack-o-lanterns from Halloween!

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup cooked/canned pumpkin
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 Tablespoons powdered milk
  • 3 cups flour
  • 1 Tablespoon bacon grease (melted)
  • 3 Tablespoons cannabis butter (melted)
  •  

Instructions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
  2. Mix your pumpkin, egg, and salt together.
  3. Slowly add a cup of flour at a time (until the consistency is more doughy, and less sticky)
  4. Roll the dough out to 1/2 inch thickness, and cut into shapes
  5. Bake for 20 minutes on one side, then turn over and bake another 20 minutes.
  6. Let the treat cool-down for 10 minutes before basting with melted bacon grease & cannabis butter.

Let’s even have our dogs lit! And Definitely check out The Weed Scene for some awesome recipes like this Dank Cheesecake:

that you might have already seen on my Instagram @Smokette_

 

Cannabutter: Yum

Recently my grandmother asked me for some Mary Jane but she didn’t want to smoke it so I had to find a way for her to have the full effect without having to smoke and so of course that means it was time to make edibles! It took some investigating but quickly it was clear that all one has to do to make edibles is make cannabutter. Once you have the cannabutter anything that you need butter for can be made into an edible. And I do mean anything; lasagna, mac and cheese, lollipops, pancakes, cookies, whatever.  There are other options too such as coconut oil but I took the butter route and this is how I did it:

Initially I followed this instructional video:

But just the cannabutter part and I did do it a little differently.


Things you need:

  • 1/2 oz of weed, buds or trim or both, also important to note here is the better the strain, the better the butter.
  • 2 sticks of unsalted butter

  • A pot and a glass bowl that fits in the pot with a lid
  • cheese cloth
  • strainer

This is how I did it:

  1. Before anything and not mentioned in the video you need to decarboxylate the bud by grinding it, putting it on a parchment paper and then in the oven at 220 degrees for 30 minutes to pull out the terpenes.
  2. Next the video says to wrap your weed in a cheese cloth, I’m sure you can but I didn’t. I just put water in a pot on the stove and start heating it on a low flame.
  3. Once my water was boiling I put a glass bowl in the pot with the water still heating under it and I chopped up my 2 sticks of butter and put it in the glass bowl.
  4. Once my butter melted I added one cup of water and my ground decarboxlated weed to the melted butter and put the lid on.
  5. Then I camped out in my kitchen for 2 hours stirring the weed with the butter every now and then, always checking there was water in the pot beneath the glass bowl (and refilling the water).
  6. 2 hours past and I put a cheese cloth on my strainer, then strained my melted bud filled butter into another bowl. I strained it very good, repeatedly and then put that bowl in the frig and went to sleep.
  7. The next day I pulled my solid cannabutter out of the bowl in the frig and used it to make my grandma cookies.

For it being the first time I’ve ever done this, I did very good. I did use real kush bud, not trim and maybe that’s why my cookies were so strong. To say the least everyone, especially grandma felt the nice mellow stoned body high for hours! The next few days after I used what I had left over of my cannabutter to make eggs and pancakes and now I’m planning to figure out how to make coconut oil to make some chocolate covered something or at least some more butter to make a lasagna. For being a weed smoker, I’ve got to say it took a while to kick in but I loved the body high and how long it last. For me it starts with a tingling in my lips… and I feel literally “stoned” for hours. I think the cookie monster has been eating these for years because I can’t get the idea of “Cookiessss” (In the cookie monster voice) out of my mind. Definitely edibles are so worth the time it takes to make the cannabutter.  I highly recommend trying it out! Stay lit!

There’s a lot more to Weed than just Smoking it

Cannabis, weed, ganja, pot, whatever you call it. If you smoke it or not you know it gets you high. And when it comes to drug test all we worry about is THC. But there’s a lot more to weed than just smoking it and THC is only one of the several cannabinoids found in this beauty of a plant….

Our bodies actually house what is known as the the endogenous cannabinoid system: “Endocannabinoids and their receptors are found throughout the body: in the brain, organs, connective tissues, glands, and immune cells. In each tissue, the cannabinoid system performs different tasks, but the goal is always the same: homeostasis, the maintenance of a stable internal environment despite fluctuations in the external environment.”

This plant has power! And it is a cure to so many different illnesses that it’s astonishing! And that’s all thanks those these wonderful things called cannabinoids.

THC (Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol) the one we are most familiar with has it’s psychoactive properties that get us high but CBD (cannabidiol ) can stop cancer.  

Actually several cannabinoids found in marijuana have demonstrated the ability to stop cancer angiogenesis and metastasis, while inducing apoptosis. Cannabidiol (CBD) has shown to be the most effective so far.

In English, cannabinoids prevent cancer cells from growing and spreading, then makes them commit suicide.

There’s :

  • CBN : Which is actually a breakdown product of the famous THC. It helps us sleep, increases our appetite, is an anti-convulsion, anti-inflammatory, is even an antibiotic, it helps with pain, burns and more.
  • THCA :The precursor to THC and a great reason to try a raw cannabis smoothie!  Because not only does it help you not vomit, not get bitten by bugs and happens to be a great anti-inflammatory, Raw THCA is an antioxidant! And can prevent cancer and possibly Parkinson’s Disease.
  • CBG : With it’s antibacterial effects is known to kill or slow bacterial growth, reduce inflammation, (particularly in its acidic CBGA form,) inhibit cell growth in tumor/cancer cells, and promote bone growth.

And when looking at the medical benefits to marijuana it’s important to know that all it’s components work together to create this wonderful thing known as the “entourage effect” that magnifies the therapeutic benefits of the plant’s individual components.

Consider terpenes for example. There’s an aromatherapy aspect to weed too because the delicious scent it carries is all thanks to the predominate terpenes in its’ strain.

Marijuana’s bouquet of terpenes—that “riot of perfumes,” as the poet (and hashish-eater) Arthur Rimbaud once said—plays another important role.

Terpenoids and cannabinoids both increase blood flow, enhance cortical activity and kills respiratory pathogens. When it comes to choosing which strain is right for you, it’s recommended that “the nose knows.” If you like how it smells, your probably going to like the effect. There are over 200 different terpenes: linalool, myreene, delta 3, etc. My favorite being  Limonene, with it’s citrus smell, found in white widow, along with:

And then we have the concentrates! Rosin, live resin, Co2, Pho…

According to High Times, “The rosin revolution is real”   

Concentrated cannabis products, such as shatter, wax, pre-filled vape pens and related extracts are in incredible demand across the country. And if you have already tried it then you know why! For me I need so little to get such a huge impact! And that’s because buds, typically contain between 10-20 percent THC (getting as potent as about 30 percent, in rare cases), in contrast concentrates can offer between 60-95 percent THC, making for a much more efficient way to get your medicine. For more on concentrates I recommend Mass Roots.

There’s a lot to know about cannabis and how it helps us. I’m not an expert and so I have provided several links throughout this post for you to get more info. In conclusion I hope that what you get out of this is that I put everything together for you. The cannabinoids, terpenes, concentrates, endocannabinoid system, and the entourage effect. I didn’t go into great detail about each, because I’m not an expert, instead I just provided you with the links. Like an all in one everything you should know about weed grocery list in a way. The cannabis movement is something that’s very important to me and I just wanted to put it out there that weed does way more than just get you high and we should all try to educate ourselves to the best of our ability.

 

Stay Lit!