Stoners Guide to Halloweed Pumpkin Carving

Just 15 days until Halloweed!! Who’s excited?? Or better yet, who’s ready to carve a pumpkin!?!? Or maybe even smoke it? Yeah…here’s everything you need, from stoney pumpkin carving stencils to my favorite instructional video on how to make a pumpkin bong and tips on keeping that carved pumpkin fresh until Oct. 31st.

So before you do anything your going to need a pumpkin. Once you got one I’d smoke it before I carve it, you know two birds one stone! And for all you visual learners like me, here’s the best pumpkin bong how to video out there from the Smoke Cartel:

That was fun! OK now you got all the hard stuff done, like gutting the pumpkin so lets carve! I don’t know about you but I’m no artist and so the easiest way to carve a dope pumpkin is with a stencil. Here’s the one I used last year:

Just right click view image, print it out, cut it out and trace the image on your pumpkin with a pen or marker. Then you know the rest, carve it out!

Here’s a stencil I’m thinking of using this year:

Same instructions as with the cannabis leaf. Then I have a few inspirational ones I found online like this 420 pumpkin:

Which looks pretty simple to just free hand being lettering and all! Then I have the challenging one where your going to need to have some real pumpkin carving skills that I don’t have and sure as hell can’t teach you:

Wish I knew who did it so I could give them credit..but this is one of those over shared images so the original source is anyone’s guess. But it sure is a dope pumpkin carving job!

Then once you smoke it and carved it and are ready to set it out to rot. Here’s a few tips on keeping it fresher longer:

  1. Rinse out the pumpkin in water to get rid of any gunk.
  2. Fill a tub or large bucket with 3 gallons of water.
  3. Add 3 teaspoons of Clorox (bleach) to the water.
  4. Dunk your pumpkin is this mix.
  5. Then just let your pumpkin air dry.

This should extend it’s liveliness by a week or so! With that said I hope you all have a killer Halloweed and I’d love to see your pumpkin carvings, slide in my DM @smokette_ on Instagram or Twitter!



The Best Part of Waking Up is THC in my Cup

My morning routine always includes a cup of coffee. And it’s even better with a little THC in it! Want to join me in a Cannabis Infused Coffee? Well here’s step by step how to make your own:

Cannabis Infused Coffee (oh and cereal too)

The simplest way to infuse your coffee

And when I say coffee I mean cafe con leche. Which is espresso made in a percolator:

Followed by adding heated, on the stove not the microwave, milk and sugar too it. Anything else is not coffee by my standards. And if you’ve never tried it, you’re welcome in advance.

Back to the Infusion

The simplest way to infuse your coffee is to add cannabis milk to it. Which you can also add to your cereal or whatever else you add milk to like milkshakes! Best part? It it so simple to make too!

Making cannabis infused milk is very similar to making cannabutter. You’re going to need:

  • 1 cup of milk. (You can use which every milk you like but keep in mind that THC  binds to fat, so whole milk will create the strongest infused milk. )
  • 2 -3 grams of your favorite ganja
  • saucepan
  • container to pour your milk into and later refrigerate

Instructions

  1. Decarboxylate the bud by grinding it, putting it on a parchment paper and then in the oven at 220 degrees for 30 minutes to pull out the terpenes and activate the THC.
  2. On the stove top heat your milk in the saucepan at on a low flame. Do not allow it to boil.
  3. Add the ground decarboxylated cannabis to the heating milk.
  4. Let the two cook together, uncovered on the stove for at least 30 minutes. Stirring every now and then to prevent from boiling, burning on the bottom and stopping the milk from forming a skin on top. If a skin does form stirring will remove it.
  5. Remove from heat and let it cool with the cannabis still in the milk. While it cools it will still infuse, so it doesn’t hurt.
  6. Once cool strain through a strainer or cheesecloth into the container you’re planning to store the milk in.
  7. Finally refrigerate.

The milk taste great in coffee and cereal. And if you happen to be lactose intolerant or only like black coffee you could always add a tincture to your coffee to get the same effect.

Hope you enjoy! Let me know how it goes when you try it out in the comments below!



Wake Bake and Brunch with CannaBrunch Burgers

Back when I first made cannabutter last year it occurred to me that anything can be make into an edible. After all these years of having my free spirit killed by domestication, now I wake up everyday and start breakfast. Last year, the day after making my first batch of cannabutter actually, I woke up to make some eggs but I didn’t have any real butter just cannabutter, so I thought to myself, “what the hell,” and just fried up some eggs in the cannabutter. To realize later that those eggs had us laid out on the couch watching TV all day seriously baked. And so since then, this has turned into a thing. Saturdays now, when there’s time to couchgate all day, are for Waking, Baking (with the morning smoke sesh) and Brunching! And in my house this CannaBrunch Burger is a fan favorite:

 

Serving portion: 4 Burgers

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 6 eggs
  • Adobo (with the red cap)                                        
  • 4 burger buns
  • 4 slices of Sargento sliced cheddar cheese
  • 8 strips of bacon
  • minced garlic (I use the one in the jar)   
  • 4 rectangular frozen hash browns
  • 1 1/2 sticks of cannabutter

Directions:

  1. This is really pretty quick so the first thing I do is set my oven to 420 degrees.
  2. Then I grab the ground beef and put 2 egg yolks in. Then 2 tablespoons of diced garlic. And season with Adobo.
  3. By now the oven beeped so I put my 4 frozen hash browns in the oven.
  4. Then I get my hands dirty and massage the ground beef mixing the garlic, yolk and seasoning in while forming 4 patties and then placing them in the freezer.
  5. Next take those 8 strips of bacon, cut them in half and in a frying pan I fry up the bacon with 1/4 stick of cannabutter.
  6. While the bacon is frying I take another 1/4 stick and butter my burger buns.
  7. By now the bacon is done. So I take them out add another 1/4 stick of butter to the bacon grease and use that bacon butter mix to fry up the burgers. I can only do 2 at a time and I only flip them once. So by the time to make my second set of patties I add another 1/4 stick for the 2nd round. And yes here is where you melt the cheese onto the patty too.
  8. Next I take my hash browns out. They are nice and brown my now and I cut them up into strips.
  9. All while in another frying pan I using cannabutter to fry up 4 eggs over easy.
  10. Last part just stack your buttered bun, burger patty with cheese, hash brown strips, 2 strips of bacon cut into four, the fried eggs and the top bun. Boom! CannaBrunch is ready to serve!

I like to serve these with some fruit and french fries on the side but you can do whatever you want really. I do promise you however that all who indulge in this brunch is sure to have a baked, stoney day! Hope you enjoy!

 



Lead by Example: Healthy Smoking Habits for the Kids

The question isn’t will my kids smoke weed, it’s when and how? Because we all know it’s inevitable. My hope however is that the new generation strictly vapes. Because vaping is healthier. And we want the best for our kids don’t we?

These are the facts, cannabis isn’t bad for you, it’s actually great and has lots of benefits. But the act of smoking is. When one smokes harsh toxins are released that can damage your lungs and cause cancer. Haven’t you ever felt like a blunt was harsh on you?

I’ve smoked a lot of blunts, and still do.  But I’ve switched to hemp wraps instead of tobacco blunts because all those Phillies, Swishers and Garcia Vegas were getting too harsh on my throat. Though I do see a significant difference with hemp wraps, there are motivating reasons for the new generation to want to vape instead of smoke:

  1. The cannabis oils and concentrates, which is what you’d vape, are stronger and more potent. Giving you that high feeling faster and more efficiently.
  2. There’s barely any odor which means vaping weed makes it less likely you’ll get caught.
  3. You don’t need a lighter meaning no risk of breathing in any butane or noxious gases from your lighter, starting a fire or worse yet someone stealing your lighter. (joking on that last part)
  4. Vape pens deliver clean vapor packed with THC eliminating the smoking risks.
  5. And you save money because vapes last much longer.

Vaping is the way to go for sure. But this how I see things going down with my kids. They are going to want to try smoking. Their mother is Smokette after all and they’ll probably try to smoke my stash.

My plan? To have plenty of hemp wraps to roll, hemp wick to light and vape pens to “smoke” right there along side my stash that definitely includes cannabis oils. Because we can’t control other people, not even our own kids, but we can lead by example, preach and share healthier pothead habits. And most importantly, love them no matter what.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the stoner mommies out there and as always stay lit!

 



There’s Something About Mary in the Limelight

Is it how she makes you smile, her intoxicating scent or just how you feel when your together? What is it about Mary Jane? I swear I’m in love with her and as her popularity grows so is everyone else too!

 

I don’t live in a recreational state yet. But things are changing and it’s mind blowing how fast it’s actually moving. How more and more people are giving Mary the thumbs up! Even my Dad, who believes a frying egg is your brain on pot, voted yes for recreational marijuana in our primary a few weeks ago. In fact, he was the one who told me about the vote in the first place. “You better go vote,” he said.  Of coarse I did and spread the word. I was even sending mass text messages the day of as a reminder:

Vote Yes 4 Weed!

Everybody pretty much said in their own words, “I got you! ” or “Most def.” Actually, I’m pretty sure more people voted yes on marijuana than actually voted for a governor. And it came as so surprise that the candidates that will be moving on through the election also support the legalization of marijuana. Which is so awesome!

It’s not exactly where we need to be yet. For example, on the day of the election the thought of standing outside the polling place for a few hours with signs and stickers did cross my mind. But then the thought of being harassed by the police and definitely searched.. and that the polling place was a school…then me with my track record.. It just wasn’t worth the risk.  But progress is progress and the vote passed with a YES!

Sooner or later we’ll get out of the nose bleed section:

Truth is, I like the nose bleed seats better because up there you can get away with things, like smoking a blunt. But once we go recreational I’m thinking I’ll be vaping right behind home base.

Don’t do what I do, they say I’m a bad influence and all, but already in the grocery store when that shopping cart road rage kicks in…I’ll sneak puff or two of my cannabis oil cartridge..lol! And man does it really chill me out! To the point where ramming the dumb ass who’s blocking the entire aisle while in la la land with absolutely no manners or concern for the rest of the world, doesn’t seem important anymore. That says a lot right there. Even though never have I actually rammed anyone with a shopping cart, well not on purpose anyway. To chill, hit a vape and remove the thought is a blessing. If we all just passed blunts (or vape pens) it’s possible we’d find world peace. No, I’m not running for Miss America, but maybe world peace can be a reality? And if is, trust me, it’ll all be thanks to Mary Jane!

Want to hear a crazy fact? Even evolution has naturally selected her to be our soul mate. For real, all creatures, except bugs, have an endocannabinoid system housed in their body. (That’s why I could get my dogs high.)

This system was first seen in sea squirts 600 million years ago.  The endocannabinoid system uses the cannabinoids in cannabis to give us that good high feeling, but the cultivation and preservation of the endocannabinoid system by the evolutionary process has nothing to do with weed. Evolution has selected the endocannabinoid system on it’s own. Which means cannabis must make living here on earth easier. Since that’s why life cultivates and retains all mutations. And it just so happens life has chosen weed! Which makes a lot of sense because there’s just something about Mary and she’s sparkling in the limelight right now!

 

 

Weed and Yoga

Yoga for me is about healing.

I was first introduced to yoga back in 2006. I was in a bad car accident and my chiropractor told me the pain was never going to go away unless I strengthen my back, and he recommended yoga to do so. And so I did and it did work!  It was a negative turned into a positive. I didn’t go into my first class a happy camper but I still go to class because I love it.

Yoga teaches you so much about yourself and how your body and breath are connected. It heals your body and mind. Similarly but also in a completely different way from Mary Jane. You have to do a lot more work when it comes to yoga. But when I’m “moody,” it probably means I’ve been away from my mat for too long or am in need of a blunt. Which is why it comes as no surprise that people are combining the two. I have for years (secretly of coarse) but then again I do almost everything a little stoned, you know…

Now weed and yoga is a trending topic. Lots of states are going recreational and me and hopefully you have our fingers crossed that in the near future the entire country will follow in suit. Regardless, right now in Venice, California you can go have a yoga sesh at a Lit Yoga class where you begin class with a tea and cannabis ritual.  In Aspen Canyon Ranch, Colorado you can go on a Ganja Yoga retreat. It’s such an exciting time to be alive!

With all that said here are my:  Tips when it comes to Weed and Yoga.

  • First, you must try it! It can even be your 1st class ever. Just make sure the class you pick matches your beginner-intermediate-advanced skill set. Because trust me, yoga is hard and you will fall but that’s all part of the practice.
  • As for the class, sun salutations work great. And kind of make a lot of sense because who better to salute during a cannabis yoga class than the sun that helps the plants grow. Hmm.. maybe something to mediate on. Personally, Vinyasa is what I’m all about. Here’s one of my favorite flows that I wake and bake to often with Heather

(check out her blog Dashworthy and show her some love too while your at)

  • Finally, your mind state. Yoga is all about connecting the mind and body so take it seriously. Come into it with an open mind, feel every breath, respect, enjoy and embrace the experience.

Namaste.





Damian Marley’s True Poetic Justice

Damian Marley knows how to send a message of true poetic justice. So many of us have been criminalized and prosecuted for cannabis possession, sale and “manufacturing” and some have even served time. Time because nature is being called illegal. And we know when that happens justice does not exist. But here’s a message from the youngest of Bob Marleys son’s :


He has purchased the 77,000 square foot Claremont Custody Center, located in Coalinga, CA and has transformed it into a cannabis grow site in collaboration with Ocean Grown Extracts.

He said the marijuana facility would turn

“a negative place with a negative vibe into something positive”

Some real rehabilitation unlike what the prison was used for prior. For more on the grow facility visit The Guardian

In addition to his full-scale cannabis farm in California, Damian has also recently opened a 3,000 square foot dispensary called Stony Hill (named after this new album) in downtown Denver, Colorado (1269 Elati St, Denver, CO 80204 to be exact).

And has his own line of cannabis oil cartridges called Speak Life OG being sold at 99 High Tides and several other dispensaries.

Named after this song off his Stony Hill album:

In all Damian Marley has done he is definitely Speaking Life! I pray we all take notes.

One Love.

 



Stoners Guide to Valentines Day

  • Flowers, Chocolates, and Love are essentially the Valentine’s Day classics and with it just around the corner let me “ganja-fy” this holiday for you all:

     

    Flowers-Give her the Flowers she REALLY Wants:

    Cannabis has got to be the sexiest flower and there are actually some strains that are known to improve your sex life.  For example, Girl Scout Cookies has a mood-boosting high that is known to cause arousal.  So if your on your fifth date with someone, looking to cook them a romantic candle lit dinner and have a great deep conversation. This strain will transport you somewhere hot and exotic. The perfect combination to take things to the next level, if you know what I mean.  (5 Cannabis Strains For 5 Specific Types of Sex)

    And how you wrap those flowers can be very important too! If your in the LA area I highly recommend stopping by the Hitman Coffee Shop, 659 South La Brea Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90036 and grab your Valentine a heart shaped blunt by the infamous Weavers.

    It’s a golden heart blunt! What pretty pothead wouldn’t love it?!?!

    Chocolate-Cannabis Infused Chocolate Covered Strawberries (or bananas work too):

    There’s not a girl in this world who doesn’t appreciate a man who cooks! And lucky for those who don’t cook, to make infused chocolate covered strawberries isn’t rocket science.

    First things first, you need to make some cannabis coconut oil. I recommend 1 cup coconut oil to 1 cup cannabis but you can add more cannabis to make it stronger or less for a lesser effect. Whatever you choose this is how to make it : (Directions compliments of Leafly)

    Infused Oil Directions: (It’s like making cannabutter but with coconut oil)

    1. Grind the cannabis.  You can include the entire plant, just the flower, a little bit of both — this is all a matter of preference. Just keep in mind that anything small enough to fit through the strainer will end up in your finished product, so again, do not grind your cannabis to a fine powder.
    2. Combine coconut oil and cannabis in your double-boiler or slow cooker, and heat the two together on low or warm for a few hours. This allows for decarboxylation (activation of THC) without scorching (which destroys the active ingredients). Cooking can be done a variety of ways: in a slow cooker on low for 4-6 hours, stirring occasionally; in a double-boiler on low for at least 6 hours (8 is better), stirring occasionally; or in a simple saucepan on low for at least three hours, stirring frequently (a saucepan is most susceptible to scorching). In all cases, a small amount of water can be added to the mixture to help avoid burning. Note: whatever method you choose, temperature of the oil should not exceed 245°F.
    3. Strain and store the oil. Do not squeeze the cheesecloth; this will simply add more chlorophyll to your oil. All remaining plant material can be discarded or used in other dishes if you have the wherewithal. The oil’s shelf life is at least two months, and can be extended with refrigeration.

    On a side note here, once you have your oil you can use it for so many things. Even a lubricant in the bedroom, seriously!

    Chocolate Covered Strawberries Directions:

    But now back to the strawberries. The oil is the most time consuming part of this recipe.  Once you have your infused coconut oil all you need is some chocolate chips and some some strawberries.

    2 Steps left:

    1. Melt your chocolate chips and infused oil together. You can do stove top or microwave (I think stove top is better, but to each his own). Once melted let it sit til it reaches room temp.

    2. Dip the strawberries (or sliced bananas, I actually like those better) into the melted chocolate. And stick them in the frig.

    Alternative Option:

    You can go even simpler and make some Canna Lovers Popcorn to munch on for the “Nexflix and Chill” style date!

    Love-Setting the Mood :

    Finally the love. Just by remembering the day I’d say you pretty much got the love covered! What to do on the day, where’s it all going to go down?…well damn there are so many options. The classic dinner and a movie is always great ( just don’t go see the new fifty shades of grey, it sucks, they all suck) Laying outside looking up at the stars, classic romantic make out point stuff. Renting a hotel room, staying home?? It’s up to you. Like I said doing anything your pretty much good.

    But if your trying to go above and beyond when you do end up back indoors eventually, light up a terp infused candle. As I explained in my last post Entourage in Full Effect these candles magnify the therapeutic benefits of the cannabis, in other words they get you higher! And who doesn’t wanna do that?

    If you do a hotel or stay home, nothings sexier than a bubble bath for two and if you just happen to have yourself a CBD bath bomb that bubble bath can be oh so much better! With some intense relaxation that just melts all stress away.

    By now I’m sure we are getting the picture here? Infused strawberries (maybe with some champagne), Terpene infused candle lit CBD bubble baths, heart shaped blunts containing a strain known for arousal?? Yeah, your getting it. Do one of them, do them all, just do something, even if it’s nothing on my stoner guide. That’s all a girl really wants. And if your single? This advice is still good. There’s way more room in the bathtub when your alone and sharing is something I’ve never been good at anyway, so why do you have to be? Spoil yourself!

    Hope this post helps and you have yourselves a highly successful Valentines Day! ( Feb 14th)

     

Entourage in Full Effect

Aromatherapy has been around for at least the past 6000 years. And as we know from my post, “There’s a lot more to Weed than just Smoking it,”there’s an aromatherapy aspect to cannabis thanks to the predominate terpenes in each strain. So what if you could light a terp infused candle the next time you light up for a sesh?

Thanks to Kush Candles now you can!

Kush Candles were created with the cannabis community in mind. Each candle has a unique combination of essential oils and terpenes to truly capture the essence of each strain.

Terpenes are great for aromatherapy. For example, Myrcene, known to not only help the effects of THC take effect more quickly, but also allows your body to absorb more of it! Because the entourage effect magnifies the therapeutic benefits of the cannabis plant’s individual components so that the medicinal impact of the whole plant is greater than the sum of its parts.

Kush Candles are infused with the 4 most commonly found terpenes in cannabis:

Myrcenecloves myrcene

  • Aroma: earthy, musky, herbal
  • Effects: “couch-lock” effect, relaxing
  • Most commonly found terpene in cannabis
  • Lowers the blood to brain barrier. In the case of consuming cannabis, it allows the THC to take effect more quickly
  • Shown to increase the maximum saturation level of your CB1 receptor, leading to much stronger effects of THC.

Which can find in their Purple Haze or Maui Wowie candles.

Linalool

  • Aroma: sweet, floral, herbal
  • Effects: calming, relaxing
  • Used for centuries as a sleep aid
  • Lessens anxious emotions provoked by THC
  • Boosts the immune system
  • Can significantly reduce lung inflammation

Which you can find in their Blue Dream  or White Widow candles.

a-Pinene

  • Aroma: Pine, fir, earthy
  • Effects: alertness, memory-aid
  • Two types of Pinene (α-pinene and β-Pinene)
  • α-Pinene is the most widely found terpene in nature
  • Used for years as an anti-cancer agent in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Which you can find in their Lavender Jones or OG Kush candles.

Limonene

  • Aroma: strong citrus smell, like lemons and oranges,with notes of sweetness
  • Effects: energizing, uplift in mood and attitude
  • Highly absorbed through inhalation
  • Assists in the absorption of other terpenes

Which you can find in their Pineapple Express  or Peach OG candles.

And with Valentines day around the corner I couldn’t think of a better way to set the mood than with a terpene infused candle. You can find a great article for more information on terpenes here on Leafly.  But definitely put your order in with Kush Candles sooner than later because I ordered my white widow and grandaddy purp candles for Christmas and they did not arrive on time. Another option for terp candles comes from Hemper, their aroma candles collection is about to launch but you can order candles right now here from Hemper for just $9.99 which is cheaper than Kush Candles set at $14.99 (both plus shipping). Not sure how fast Hemper ships but I’d keep them in mind to reach an entourage in full effect.  Be sure to check out my Stoners Guide to Valentines day on February 1st here at Smokette.net!

And as always stay lit!

Cuban Tech

This Hialeah raised team is killing it on the west coast with their bad ass hash!

It’s true the Instagram names “Cuban grower” and “Qban hash queen” was what originally grabbed my attention, I am biased and tend to naturally be drawn towards anything with the word “Cuban” in it, being one and all. But these guys have got skillzzzzzzzz…

Seeing is believing so let’s just do a little show and tell here:

Cookies and Cream single source water hash grown by the Cuban Hash Queen and separated by Cubans Full Melt

Mint Chocolate Chip live resin also grown by the Cuban Queen hashed by the Cuban Grower

Headstash pressed out by the Cuban Grower

And now the Cuban Grower is managing the new Critical 710 California facility  and here it the first ever Critical x Cuban sauce collaboration

These guys are living the dream, or at least my dream.  This year their Cookies and Cream Drysift won 3rd in the High Times SoCal Cannabis Cup for non-solvent hash.  In 2016 their Black Mamba drysift won 2nd in NorCal and Cookies and Cream won 1st in Michigan.  As the Cuban Grower said on Instagram:

damn it feels good to be a gangster

I’d love to join the squad. The day your hiring let me know I’ll pack up and head west asap.

And for all you dab, shatter, live resin, hash fans if you see this face on a banner:

They got fire!